A Gross Thought

So it seems that every time my fat, white male ass feels the need to poop, I sit down and then I don't feel like pooping anymore. I'm thinking, what's the deal with that?

Well, I came up with some theories.

1. Perhaps my butt and the toilet have become best of friends, therefore stopping my butt from performing an atrocity of an uncalled for water sport unto its flushing fiend friend.

2. Or maybe pooping is like the french kissing of the disgusting fecal-to-porcelain world. Then that would imply that my butt and the toilet are definitely not in a romantic relationship. Just best friends. Or worst enemies. Isn't that weird how you can substitute one for the other so easily in this peculiar situation?

3. More scientifically, maybe the height at which the toilet is at somehow comforts or discomforts my bowels so much to the point that my butt just doesn't want to do anything but sit there.

And that's all for that.

Here is a screenshot from my favorite episode thus far of Spaced. For the lulz.