New Song

Yay finally a serious song. Details on youtube page.



But I'll also include the fact that I am straight and a gay ally, and I do not support bullying of any kind.

Here are some misc truths that I'd just like to release, mostly for my own sake, since I can't organize things in my head and I hardly ever write in a private journal anymore. They're not really secret because I'm not really a... secretive person lol at least among friends.

1. I have contemplated my placement on many spectrums of things. Specifically, I have contemplated being lesbian or bisexual or whatever, but have concluded that I lean pretty far towards straight. I say spectrums because for most things, I believe there's are many shades of grey [probably mixing some colors here and there as well]. You can call yourself a democrat, but you can't just mass everyone into a single group. Everyone within that group has different views. You can be a democrat and believe in some republican platforms. Whatever. You can be a straight male and still be turned on by guys making out with guys, even if you don't want to partake in such activities.

2. I have found a new love in bok choy and hoisin sauce.

3. One day, I hope to go green/organic, even though I know I will have little impact on the rest of the world.

4. I'm going to continue being selfish in this luxurious world I have grown up in, but I will occasionally try my best to donate or volunteer to causes I deem as good.

5. I spelled selfish, luxurious, and occasionally wrong multiple times before correcting them in that last number. I need to work on spelling.

6. I am trying to find a taste for poetry. Currently reading Faust. It is okay so far.

7. I am afraid of vaginas.

8. I like doing the dishes, but it is always too difficult to bring myself to do them.

9. I project my bad traits onto other people. This is a very recent realization and I am trying to judge people less because of it. It is difficult.

10. I am learning to accept my culture and understand why I am the way I am. I have to fully understand that I'm not smart because I'm biologically Asian, I'm smart because of how I was raised in a strict, totalitarian environment that I think could have been pleasant, but there aren't any perfect ways to raise children. Okay, I guess I also have to explore my relationship with the people who raised my fat, white, 37-year old Irish ass.

11. I've told things to my boss, who I've only known for about a few months, things I've never even told myself and it is so hard, but so liberating.

12. There's nothing wrong with crying. I am learning.

13. Discovering what triggers you to Feel is so powerful for the spirit.

14. I don't even know what the spirit is, but it is-.

15. I hella almost overcooked my rice because I was writing this.

16. I have a lot of things to do today and I had enough time about three hours ago before I met the Internet.

17. Trying to be open-minded is making me close-minded to close-minded people. I'm still not sure what to make of this. I can only have so much hope for humanity.

18. I went to the PostSecret event yesterday and it was AMAZING. I really enjoyed everyone sincerity, honesty, and courage to tell their secrets to a bunch of strangers. And I don't know if I'm supposed to write this or not, but I really appreciated when Frank shared his mum's message for not wanting a free copy of his book. I can sort of relate to that in that while I am lucky that my parents will support me in whatever my endeavors are, I can't expect them to always fully support what I do. I can't expect that from anyone. I can only expect myself to be passionate and support myself in whatever I choose to do, whoever I choose to be.

19. And no, this is the way I write and I will continue writing this way. I will not purposely try to censor myself. I'm not going to stop myself from growing whichever way. I am rude and I will speak my truths.