Pistachio Late Nights

There were some shells lying around. And then there was a pen. And so yeah. I will probably go to some other level of hell for drawing Gandhi on a pistachio because there was a reddish dotty thing in the middle.

Educating myself about North Korea on Christmas

"There was a brief flurry of negotiations that year on co-hosting the upcoming 1988 Seoul Olympics, which ended in failure and was followed by the 1987 bombing of a South Korean commercial aircraft (Korean Airlines flight 858) by North Korean agents." -http://www.state.gov/r/pa/ei/bgn/2792.htm

lol Directly after reading this sentence, I was like, "Wait, what???" God I hate politics and people so much sometimes. Nothing ever makes sense. It's so irrational. But maybe that's the only RATIONAL EXPLANATION HUR HUR HUR 

On Artists

I don't think an artist ever shows everyone/anyone all his/her/zir work.

Unless you are an "artist" like MBR [mr. brainwash]. lol

Now I'm on Facebook what

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Hellxia-Art/183005925046050



Um, it's a lot more organized. Yeah. You are welcome to be offended.

Done for the night

That's all I've done for critique, looks a lot better than what it was before... but I think I'll still want to change it back to the way it was before. Later. Buh. So much paint $$$$$

Abstract What

I will probably not ever be taking a better photo of this. lol Abstract assignment for beginning drawing.

Markers on PERFECTLY GOOD QUALITY PRICEY AS HELL RAG PAPER. Ugh.

Static

Uh I'll take a better picture at some other point in my life. Later. Later later.

I quite like this one though. This Barbie thing could be a gimmick, but I think there's a lot of meaning in it. Although, other than Barbie, everything in this image is a pop gimmick. This one was a sort of quick piece for a beginning drawing independent project. It talks about how we are born of the media only to feed right back into it. It's this cycle of terrible life.

Ink and watercolor markers

ufhffhhhhhhhh

Final critique is on Wednesday and I am super NOT DONE. Ughhhhh IF ONLY HAD THIS COLD NOT STRIKETH ME TO MY BEDROOM CHAMBERS.

This is the worst time to be sick. I GOT ALL MA FINALS THIS UPCOMING WEEK INSTEAD OF THE WEEK AFTER FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF minus English, which I opted to take on the last Friday of finals WAH WAH WAHHHH my professor is probably gonna give me a super difficult test!!!! AIYAH!

But at least I think I quarantined this cold relatively quickly, so I'm hoping to be healthy by critique, which is a helluva lot faster than my colds usually go.

As for the painting... ergh. I really am not sure what to do with it... I'm not really digging the blue [which I used half a tube on ughhhh $$$] and I don't think this dynamic is quite working with me.... so I think I might go back to my ORIGINAL background [which, in class, we're not allowed to call a background faoiwejafowieafoidfj]... UGHHHHH $$$$$$$$$$$TICK$$$$$$TICK$$$$$$$$$TICK$$$$$$$

Ebb and Flow: Moar Pics

Stuff from notebooks and sketchbooks:

I'm still learning and practicing French, but it's really irking to hear my classmates still mispronouncing simple things like J'ai or Je vais.

As for the other part, my French prof totally did this and it was adorable.

Continue practicing art in other classes. Like English.

We read a story about a cowboy. 

Taking some notes while watching some interviews of writers, most of whom I thought were d bags.

I sort of liked the notes I took though. Things I heard mixed with things I thought. 

More English notes. I think of molecules bouncing in a box, although technically they would just be vibrating.

We read a story by Ron Carlson called Bigfoot Stole My Wife. It was pretty sad, but Bigfoot really did take his wife.

Some sketches for the future. I don't think I ever uploaded the final charcoal one I did for my drawing class. I'll upload a poor quality version at some point because I don't want charcoal all over my scanner.

Although words may not incur physical violence, there is still much unseen abuse to be had. 

Blindly swishing these hurtful words about, who cares who is listening I don't give a fuck

It drags you down

Creepy dude in Ashland, home of ignorant haters and good theater plays

Ink is really hard to handle, but it feels really cool on paper because it doesn't absorb all the way.

The apple is not a still life, but the pottery is. lol

Why yes, I do know who Mark Ryden is. 

I HAVE A MUSTACHE. I HAVE A HEAD FULL OF MUSTACHE. I HAVE MUSTACHEY EYEBROWS. HRUMPH!

Rushing

A still life gone wrong.

WIP Int Painting Final

5x4 foot guhhhhh It is coming along... but way too slowly. Camera photo doesn't do it justice.

Still unsure of what to do with the background and it is killing me.

Finally bought two Barbie dolls from Goodwill for references. Goodwill has so many amazing and cheap items!!!!

Also, totally stoked today because one of my classmates offered $50 for three of my 11x14 wood panel paintings woot woot! Ah but how short success can last.

As a side note: For Christmas, I think I would like a DVD player so that I can watch things on my TV... my Xbox is too old and overheats halfway through. 8****C

Ashland and Back and Stuff

Had an amazing time in Ashland for the Oregon Shakespeare Festival! So many ridiculous adventures. But of course, no such documentation. I forgot to bring my camera outside where we stayed. hahahahaha

So here is some other random stuff that has to do with candle wax. 

Yeah, you bet I'm a damn hipster. Playing with wax drippings. It is difficult to get them the shape you want them to be. Looks cool regardless. And smells good. 

I got a bunch of free business cards and postcards [free = shipping], so I'm gonna decorate them at some point. I was disappointed to see that the postcards were printed with gloss paper though... so we shall see what I can do with that, since ink doesn't adhere to or absorb into it very well. 

Uh. I just thought the burn marks on the wax looked like tiny letters. It was weird. LIKE A FOREIGN LANGUAGE. ALIEN EVEN.

Oh, and here's the ads I've made so far for stuff I'm in charge of at the Multi-Cultural Center!!!!

Yay!

Pinup Practice

I'm having a lot of trouble with the Barbie doll bodies because I don't have very good reference material and I keep forgetting to buy a doll from a thrift store ffffffffff

This one is the second out of five panels. Not really done yet, but I don't have time to finish it. I don't even know why I'm updating this, I'm tired and my neighbor is playing loud spooky music and laughing like the Joker. OH NEIGHBOR, if you weren't so entertaining sometimes, I'd wish you were dead because on many days, I don't have any sense of morals.

Head references (Elvgren is my favorite classic pinup artist so far... I'm not sure who did the second pinup):

More Painting Homework

I helped make this wood panel canvas! 

We have five panels to do for the next five weeks, one per week, relating to our 5x4ft piece. It is still really difficult to draw boobies, plastic or not!

Some tiny 4x5in quick painting sketches, relating to our large piece.

And... I just drew this to get free pre-screening tickets to see Tangled. lol CHIBI RAPUNZEL. Sigh.

More sketches

Why do we make jokes to make people feel stupid? Even little jokes to our friends, trolling, whatever. Why is it funny? 

Anyway, here are some things from my tiny sketchbook.

Mostly filler since we have to do one drawing a day. 

Some quick sketches at the bike kitchen. I lost my pen under a drawer! 8C 

Yesterday, I took apart an entire bike! I'm still super stoked. 

Tinier sketch blown up. Iono. 

I just really like how these two colors go together. Originally I wasn't going to draw a mouth on her... and then I forgot. 

TRUE STORY BRO. Don't use gesso around stuff you wear everyday, unless you like to wear gesso everyday. lol

We had to draw trees for an HOUR. Ughhhhhhhhh I got bored, so I drew what the trees looked like to me in the background. 

Bottom left foreground looked like an atomic bomb. 

Bottom left background looked like flames.

Bottom right foreground looked like shrapnel.

Overall, it looked like the [buddha] palm tree was peaceful above all this chaos. 

Uh. I don't know, this is something that popped into my head a previous day. 

Shadow of my water bottle traced, and then made into a platypus. I keep wanting to say reflection instead of shadow, but really... is a shadow not just a reflection upon a seemingly non-reflecting surface... or something. I don't know. 

It's really cold. 

PostSecret

This was a good week for PostSecret.

A lot of it directly relates to my current life!

(And thank you to Nancyface who pointed this specific card out!)

New Song

Yay finally a serious song. Details on youtube page.



But I'll also include the fact that I am straight and a gay ally, and I do not support bullying of any kind.

Here are some misc truths that I'd just like to release, mostly for my own sake, since I can't organize things in my head and I hardly ever write in a private journal anymore. They're not really secret because I'm not really a... secretive person lol at least among friends.

1. I have contemplated my placement on many spectrums of things. Specifically, I have contemplated being lesbian or bisexual or whatever, but have concluded that I lean pretty far towards straight. I say spectrums because for most things, I believe there's are many shades of grey [probably mixing some colors here and there as well]. You can call yourself a democrat, but you can't just mass everyone into a single group. Everyone within that group has different views. You can be a democrat and believe in some republican platforms. Whatever. You can be a straight male and still be turned on by guys making out with guys, even if you don't want to partake in such activities.

2. I have found a new love in bok choy and hoisin sauce.

3. One day, I hope to go green/organic, even though I know I will have little impact on the rest of the world.

4. I'm going to continue being selfish in this luxurious world I have grown up in, but I will occasionally try my best to donate or volunteer to causes I deem as good.

5. I spelled selfish, luxurious, and occasionally wrong multiple times before correcting them in that last number. I need to work on spelling.

6. I am trying to find a taste for poetry. Currently reading Faust. It is okay so far.

7. I am afraid of vaginas.

8. I like doing the dishes, but it is always too difficult to bring myself to do them.

9. I project my bad traits onto other people. This is a very recent realization and I am trying to judge people less because of it. It is difficult.

10. I am learning to accept my culture and understand why I am the way I am. I have to fully understand that I'm not smart because I'm biologically Asian, I'm smart because of how I was raised in a strict, totalitarian environment that I think could have been pleasant, but there aren't any perfect ways to raise children. Okay, I guess I also have to explore my relationship with the people who raised my fat, white, 37-year old Irish ass.

11. I've told things to my boss, who I've only known for about a few months, things I've never even told myself and it is so hard, but so liberating.

12. There's nothing wrong with crying. I am learning.

13. Discovering what triggers you to Feel is so powerful for the spirit.

14. I don't even know what the spirit is, but it is-.

15. I hella almost overcooked my rice because I was writing this.

16. I have a lot of things to do today and I had enough time about three hours ago before I met the Internet.

17. Trying to be open-minded is making me close-minded to close-minded people. I'm still not sure what to make of this. I can only have so much hope for humanity.

18. I went to the PostSecret event yesterday and it was AMAZING. I really enjoyed everyone sincerity, honesty, and courage to tell their secrets to a bunch of strangers. And I don't know if I'm supposed to write this or not, but I really appreciated when Frank shared his mum's message for not wanting a free copy of his book. I can sort of relate to that in that while I am lucky that my parents will support me in whatever my endeavors are, I can't expect them to always fully support what I do. I can't expect that from anyone. I can only expect myself to be passionate and support myself in whatever I choose to do, whoever I choose to be.

19. And no, this is the way I write and I will continue writing this way. I will not purposely try to censor myself. I'm not going to stop myself from growing whichever way. I am rude and I will speak my truths.

Concepts for Independent Painting Project

Yeah, it is sort of cliche to still be talking about stereotypes and sexism, but there is such a WEALTH of subjects to be explored!

For my int. painting class, we're doing a 5x4ft painting. I'm going to propose creating images of pin-up girl faces [I like the classic ones done by Elvgren and some others] on Barbie doll bodies, focusing on their relationships to objectifying women [pin up girls] and creating a dismal role model that is physically unachievable, mentally stereotyped, and racially stereotyped [Barbie: the great white female]. 

The effect of my internship at the Multi-Cultural Center has been amazing, to put it lightly. I've been doing a lot of thinking about social justice and how I can incorporate meaningful messages in my paintings, as opposed to the usual meaningless pop shit. 

Sorry for the photo quality. Built-in webcams, you know. 

Here are four potential concepts.

"My role model is..." on the chalkboard in the background. All of the young, female students look up to pin up Barbie. They seek to look just like her when they grow older, even if physically impossible. Maybe they can pose seductively in magazines made for men, too. 

White female Barbie PREVAILS. I think I was going to put a pile of multi-racial heads in the background, but forgot. 

That is an Asian baby's face on a sexually posed Barbie body. She may not be mentally mature, but Barbie guarantees her that one day she will be sexually mature. 

That is supposed to be an Asian girl looking questioningly at a Barbie.