HELLXIA, ART! has moved

http://hellxia.tumblr.com/

I just realized that I had already printed business cards too lol OOPS

BIRTH OF A ROLE MODEL

All ink on 11x15 watercolor paper. Maybe like... 7 hours??? D8 D8 D8 hella days

Alternate title:

• Mommy, I can haz Barbie?

I messed up the arm of the mom on the left... but... ahhhh what am I gonna do. I might try to revisit this one day.

IN OTHER NEWS:

Hey look I wrote a poem about being Chinese what

I was born in Canada, raised in Californ-i-a.
I took pride in being Chinadian,
although after my fifth birthday I was MIA.
I hated America because it hated me.
But I loved America out of hypocrisy.

I used to say Chinese like it was some kind of
disease.
Chinese used to mean
high expectations, exotic objects, weird smells and
bad driving.

Then one semester, thanks to
the Multi-Cultural Center
I thought, why do I hate who I am?
So now I'm learning:
to stop society from oppressing me.
To stop blaming my mom for oppressing me.
And to stop letting myself oppress myself.

So I'm learning and
I'm learning.
Now being Chinese,
always being Chinese,
means my mom wants me to try my best.
It means the food tastes like home, sweet, home, I confess.
It means yes, I am learning a different way
to love my parents and
myself.
I am now as proud to be Chinese
as I am to be
all the me's.

A CLEAR ROOM = A CLEAR MIND

And I do not have a clear room. SIGH. This was from last week. My room still looks the same, if not worse.


At any rate, changed the layout a tiny bit.

WIP barbie birth

I'm more interested in WIP's than anything else, so here is one. about like two and a half hours already D8 D8 D8 i work slow lol and iono how to use inks. Hoping this will turn out good!!! Eventually I will learn how to do lights properly...

It's fairly straightforward, but I guess you could go a couple ways with it. Birth of Barbie. The main surgeon dude or whatever is a man and the nurse is a woman and she is far away and real or unreal and I'm not sure who the mom is [maybe she is a child, although I have to say that I intended her to be bigger. Perspective. OOPS. But who the mom is doesn't matter at this point. Once you exit through those doors, you're stuck in TVLand.

In music news, more and more I am losing taste for nerdcore. Just a fad. It's got mostly the same values as any other rap, with less of a catchy beat. Also, more and more I find my true calling in electronic music with heavy bass beats even though I don't have a subwoofer or anything. Dubstep WAWWAAHAHWAAAAAHWAWAWAWAWAaaaa Trashy electronica

Assignment that was due like a hundred years ago

I was thinking about Jean Kilbourne's speech about body image, and then I was thinking about an image of thin body juxtaposed with a burger, and then I thought about a skull and mcdonalds burgers, and then this happened.

The assignment was to create a grid of drawings in charcoal. I didn't use nice paper for this because I haven't had a chance to go to Utrecht, but this is one of my better ones anyway. Fuck nice paper, it's so expensive 8[


My thoughts:

I wanted a realistic skull and a realistic Ronald McDonald [reference here] juxtaposed with a crude, cartoon-y burger.

We idolize BURGERS as some sort of luscious and even sexy god. It's really weird. We give fast food fat names, voices, personalities, sex appeal, and more. Yet we don't see it as a real problem sometimes.

Ronald McDonald is sort of the human entity of The Burger, and he is real, yet he's not. He's just some painted white-face dude with wrinkles and a limited career.

And skulls are real, but the one I used as a reference is actually a wax candle that my aunt gave to me. The drawing in itself is a sort of an embodiment of the real thing. The drawing is of a real thing, and is a real thing. And now it has what I intended to be a tongue, I'm not sure if that's translating correctly. I was thinking of the exoticism of The Burger. Nowadays, advertisers aren't even subtle about it.


That's super disjointed, but I'm still processing it. Hope I don't smudge it before critique BUHHHHHH

Lamp Burn

FFFFFFF I seem to always forget that my lamp is hot after turning it off. Brush and burn.

I drew this before my business law midterm. I thought it was funny... ಠ_ಠ

Was trying to figure out an ink drawing that I was supposed to start like a week ago. Was gonna do it today, but Utrecht closed early FFFFFFFFFF no paper

This took me a little more than an hour wtffff I am getting really slow. But I like how it turned out. Used photograph from : http://www.milesaldridge.com/ He does some interesting photography. Like a darker fashion photographer. I was just practicing, and then I thought about how my professor told me to practice masters and technical stuff, and then maybe add stuff that is more cartoony or not technical.

Unrelated: Shaun Tan is still AWESOME. Check out his art and stuff here: http://www.shauntan.net/ and also check out his oscar-winning short film [based on one of his books], The Lost Thing.

I don't do things the right way

Well... I liked it. That's the stuffed animal I've kept since I was a wee baby. I named her Bunny. Creative, right?

Anyway, I'm still trying to figure out colors. I couldn't get the red to look the right kind of bright, and I couldn't get the background to look right. Had super problems with bright colors and fucking GREEN in class today. And Bunny's leg is like super giant lol

My ultimate weakness is nature painting. Ughhhhhhh

Thank you, Angry Asian Man for sharing Sex Ray Vision!

 CHECK OUT SEX RAY VISION HERE: http://dfgh.org/

AWESOME electro hip hop pop and remixes. Nerds from Stanford yay!!!!!

And if you haven't already, check out my friend's music: http://robotscience.bandcamp.com/album/good-luck [this is his most recent album, and my favorite so far!]

Represent!!!

Other than that, been totally miserable painting nature. ಠ_ಠ

Crazy busy this week, but for now... the waters have calmed...

COLOR IN MY LIFE??

Went to a Drag Show at my friend's school and saw an attractive boy in drag, who looked good in drag, and was also straight and single???? Too much perfect, avoid situation. lol 

Anyway, what my professor said about finding a style or type of stroke that says WHO I AM as an artist in my art... I've been trying to find things. It is a difficult journey 8***C 

Mostly been inspired by graffiti. Simple colors. Finally took out the massive pack of Sharpies that I have. Forgot that they existed in one of my drawers. 

Hellxia signature what.

Gonna try and start to write down a daily log briefly summarizing things that I do every day. Bought a new tiny sketchbook for it.

lol No seriously, I just created Avatar: The Last Airbender: Appa graffiti fanart. Because my friend had this piece of soap stone or whatever and she is trying to whittle it into a turtle, but THE OBVIOUS CORRECT PLAN OF ACTION would be to make it look like Appa, since it already looks like it anyway. And so I drew this.

Uh.

Sketchbook stuff

Kind of really disappointed with my drawings this semester 8[ 

Prof said that I need to find a drawing style that is not generic and that is who I am. TRUE. And also... omgggg how do I do thissss I've been trying for a while, but maybe my style is just generic D8 I don't know how to vary my lines. MUST CONCENTRATE HARDER.

Tongue-tied... right? RIGHT? 

SO GOOD. And I never liked blueberries before this past month. Whaaattt.

The library.

ECNEICS. Exploratorium FOR THE WIN. Giant groups of children hogging all the coolest exhibits FOR THE LOSS.

I always look really angry when I am drawing self-portraits I MUST LOOK ANGRY ALL THE TIME OH NOES

I was watching something that had video of moving clouds. Probably art 21?? My pattern is really stagnant 8[

I like the bunches of little men people. Thinking of covering pages with them.

I draw things I hate drawing really badly 8[

Idea for a drawing I suppose. Maybe a painting. I find myself wanting to paint more than draw, but I never really get around to painting 8****C


Yesterday was my worst day painting so far!!! Fucking ALLERGIES. GOD. I HATE NATURE SO MUCH BECAUSE OF ALLERGIES. SO DISAPPOINTING TO MISS OUT ON NATURE. And then I angrily stormed off right after class because I had to go to work and because allergies were killliinnggg me. 8[

On the flip side, I bought a new water bottle and it is really awesome and I am so stoked to have it. Wrote some more silly songs yesterday.

When I Write

I write in the same pattern that I make up songs with lol

NOT RAGING ANYMORE

Dear Jimmy Wong, ching chong <3 I laughed so hard at this amazing response to the UCLA racist girl.

Homefront for Xbox360

Yeah, like, literally. Here's the game's backstory trailer so that you can get EVEN MORE ANGRY [and last year's E3 was supposed to be amazing, yet they have shit like this EVERYWHERE fffffffff].





Like any aware person with common sense, my first thought was WTF.


I went to see the live art performance and lecture by Bunky Echo-Hawk today. Pretty rad stuff. The friendship dance was awesome! But among many interesting matters he brought up, there were two that stood out to me the most.

ONE.
Homefront for Xbox360. I hadn't heard about this game when he mentioned it, although I wasn't really surprised that it existed. I'm still not surprised, but just... APPALLED. ALWAYS APPALLED. Not shocked, just appalled.

The game is about Kim Jong-Eun taking his father's place... and then North Korea going apeshit on the US: and it is OUR DUTY AS AMERICANS to gun them down. WTF.

If you'll note in the trailer, there's a classic American screaming, "THE ONLY GOOD COMMUNIST IS A DEAD COMMUNIST!" Well, God Bless America and freedom of speech, but promoting this sort of hysteria through mainstream gaming media is pretty much the same as watching the recent video of the UCLA girl ranting about Asians in the library [ONLY WATCH THIS VIDEO IF YOU WISH TO CONTINUE BEING FILLED WITH RAGGEEEE] without a critical thought or conscience... like watching that girl and then thinking YEAH THAT GIRL IS TOTALLY RIGHT. ASIANS ARE THE DEVIL.

No.

Incorrect.

Wrong.

Do not collect $200.

On another slightly unrelated note, a Facebook friend updated a status about a week ago commenting upon the seemingly inevitable failure of the small movement to not buy gas on March 14. One of her Facebook friends wrote that they were going to use and buy gas again and again.

I made a sardonic comment about gas prices going up to $5 during the summer "GOD BLESS AMERICA" [I can be mean and ignorant, too], to which the other friend responded by patting America on the back for the "rape" of another country for gas. I replied that rape isn't a good word to use like that anymore, to which he responded with, "What do you prefer? Surprise sex?"

[insert exasperated sigh here]

I said to use exploit rather than rape, which would've made the original comment less pro-AmericaWars and more... sarcastic? Witty? I don't know. At any rate, he responded "Kinda gay! You must go to Berkeley."

....

I hella pwnd him with a response about his position in the Air Force, BUT THE POINT IS that there are so many ignorant people that aren't even AWARE that they are ignorant. And like I said in that vlog I made yesterday, it's not even their fault. It's SOCIETY and the SYSTEMS that these BIZARRE TRADITIONS have perpetuated. Loaded words, right? But direct and loaded with absolutely tragic truths.

Bunky Echo-Hawk asked the audience tonight what the main problems were in California today. The main issues people brought up were education, the homeless, the Delta and salmon, and the hate [example: the two Sikh men that were shot in Elk Grove recently]. ALL of these problems related directly to the first: education. We need to start from the beginning, from pre-school or kindergarten or maybe even before that! Start education while young minds are so easy to mold. Mold them with purpose and meaning and awareness and empowerment and courage!

If only it were so easy [THANKS, POLITICS, AKA DRAMA. UGH.] to allocate more money to education, instead of prisons, instead of stupid TV shows, instead of talentless singers, instead of corporate scum, instead of war, instead of luxury cars, instead of all these useless and wasteful things [which are cherished and prized in our society, if you'll look again]. If only it were so easy to change the system so that politicians wouldn't spend all their money trying to get back into office rather than working to improve the communities they are supposed to represent. IF ONLY everyone could see the benefit of a quality education [I would live my life in ignorance and FEAR if I didn't know what the hell was going on in my community, IN MY MIND. If I didn't have someone guide me to the phrase "internalized racism," I would've kept HATING my people and MYSELF]. IF ONLY people KNEW how to utilize all these resources around us, within us, reaching out with open eyes--not blind--and finding out HOW TO FEEL about certain issues and, most importantly, WHAT TO DO about them.


I don't even know if I'm on topic anymore, I'm rasiannnnn!!!! Anyway...


TWO.
Are your grandparents or great-grandparents on display at a museum? Bunky Echo-Hawk's great-grandparents are. At the Washington State [university?] museum. WTF. THEY CAN'T EVEN RESPECTFULLY BURY THEM. I love science, but right now, FUCK SCIENCE, THIS IS SOMEONE'S FAMILY THAT YOU'VE RESURRECTED, DEAD AND NAKED FOR THE PUBLIC'S SCRUTINIZING GAZE.


FFFFFFFFFFFFF SO MUCH RAGE THESE PAST TWO DAYS!



In lighter news, sort of, Trina, Megan, and I are gonna collaborate on an art show hopefully next March!!!! Hope hard that we get a spot! We're going to explore what it means to be Asian American women in America, how society and media overwrite cultural meanings and definitions, exoticism, role models, and more. It's gonna be amaaazzzinnggg if we can get a spot. We're hoping to show on campus and off campus. :3 :3 :3 :3 This summer is going to be some crazy art times.

Also in other news, I spent 12 hours on campus today, and then I came home and spent all my time raging on this blog, so like I didn't get anything done and I'm STILL going to be sleep-deprived. At least it's not as bad as... the past four years. lol

The Vlogosphere

Yep.

Exploring Role Models

Was writing out some questions for a leadership meeting that I'm facilitating at the end of this week for work. This is the article that the dialogue will be based on: http://www.nytimes.com/2008/06/10/education/10asians.html?_r=1

The article is about Asian Pacific Americans in higher education. It speaks to the invisibility and mis/underrepresentation of APA's in society and in higher education. What I'm focusing on in my facilitation is the need for diversity in role models.

I defined "role model" simply as someone that you can relate to and aspire to be like. It's probably improper to end a sentence with "like," but I thought it was appropriate because it seems like an unhealthy obsession to want to BE someone... whereas if you want to be like / similar to someone, with their best qualities in mind, that seems ideal for healthy aspiration.

My first question asks us to explore what our own role models were while growing up, as well as who they are in the present.

I took a few minutes to come up with a list of my own. A majority of them ended up being women, and a little less than half were of Asian descent.

I went through the list and noted the most notable, here, in no particular order [and I'm not sure if it's because I'm becoming a feminist and going through an angst-ridden sexism against men phase, but they all turned out to be women]:

• Sailor Mars
• Really the only Sailor Scout that was actually Japanese. And the point was that she was Asian and looked like me. And was badass.
• the Yellow Mighty Morphin' Power Ranger
• Also looked like me. And was also badass.
• my (step-)aunt Deb
• It's more of a recent realization that I feel very distant not only from my Chinese relatives, but from my Canadian ones. In all truth, it's because I don't see or talk to them much at all... there's the literal distance, the language barrier, and the fact that I'm not a phone person. 
• From the few interactions I've had with my aunt, I have realized what an awesome person and great role model she is. This is how I perceive her: She lives for herself, she is her own person, she stands for what she believes in, she speaks out for what she believes in.... she is an activist and an ally.
• Sia, my first roommate
• It's still hilarious that we were destined to be roommates. The Tanzanian girl that loved Asian culture and the Chinese girl that hated being Asian. I'm not sure why no one ever had a serious conversation with me about my hate of being Asian. Or maybe they did. I don't know why I never had a serious conversation with myself until this past semester. 
• We had a love-hate relationship, but I look up to her exactly as I look up to my aunt Deb. She lives for herself, she is her own person, she stands for what she believes in, and she speaks out for what she believes in. I'm not sure that she's an activist in the sense that my aunt is, but she is an ally and an activist in the sense that she is unafraid to speak out against social injustice. 
• Lin, my first-year RA, coworker, and friend
• I'm pretty sure that if Lin [and Sia] hadn't reached out to me, I'd still be in an anti-social box. With Lin's support, leadership, late night talks, mischievous times, and bluntness, I... well, I'd still be in THE BOX. I would never go anywhere. But because she was such an amazing RA and friend, I [and Sia] felt a push to TRY. To CHANGE. To step out of my comfort zones. It is a perpetual push, and it can only lead me higher. 
• Nancy, a childhood friend, reunited in high school, and still close
• I keep following in her footsteps without even realizing it. Most notably, it was car rides, big sweaters, anime, Western comics, working at a campus Multi-Cultural Center, and being aware of the APA community. I continue to learn from her, and even though I pick up on these realizations fairly slowly, I am glad that I can pick up on them eventually. 
• Charlene, my main supervisor at the Multi-Cultural Center from last semester
• Without the guidance of Charlene [and support from the rest of the staff and intern cohort], I don't think I would be in this state of awareness of social justice issues and personal growth. Through one-on-ones with her, I explored my past, my present, my triggers. I realized the extent of my internalized racism. And I grew from that.  
• The women from the APAHE conference
• Even though it's been a couple weeks, I am still marveling at the fact that there were women who reminded me of my own mother that spoke openly about the truths to the stereotypes of Asian parents. 
• Other than that, I learned an unbelievable amount from them, and also from the men, but mostly the women I took to heart. 
• Charlyne Yi
• Well, she looks just like me and is awkward like me, which is weird... but... good, because she is successful and around the same age as me and she didn't even go to college!!!!
• Trina, a friend and fellow artist
• I was really intimated by her at first... because she's really fuckin cool! 
• I learned to accept that it's totally okay and awesome to openly be geeky and Asian. And there's nothing wrong with a sexual culture. I don't know why porn stores and sex toys and sex are so taboo. Not everyone does it, but a lot of people do. Babies are friggin everywhere. 
• In recent times, we've been exploring ideas for future collaborative art shows [hopefully next year, super stoked]. Our themes have mainly been focusing on Asian identity and our relationships with our parents and others. Been learning a lot from Trina, too. Other than a friend, she is very much like a mentor to me right now. 

This semester for sure, I think I can say that I am finally starting to love life for what it is and to love MYSELF for who I am and who I am becoming. And I truly appreciate the fact that I have these connections with all these different people, and keep learning same and different things continuously. 

I don't really want to be in school forever, but I do want to be a student forever. 

Sketchbook and Class Notes ^date

I've mostly been using pen because 1. I don't write with pencils anymore and 2. I've been trying to SEE things and learn about light and shadows and shapes by doing these quicker studies with pen where i can't erase / I have to see where I corrected myself, and so that I don't concentrate on minuscule details that keep me from actually SEEING what I am drawing

Brainstorming for next class assignment, will probably also use it for my Childhood Struggles Storybook Project.

Was reading an article that a coworker referred me to called "Asian Pacific American Women and Feminism (1981)" by Mitsuye Yamada. Haven't finished it yet, but it was talking about the stereotype of the passive, polite Asian woman, and how there are actually a lot of female activists in the Asian community, but that they always have to prove themselves worthy of speaking before even trying to communicate their message.

Was thinking of drawing the marshmallow man panels for the next class assignment, but decided to do my childhood struggles instead. Then I started drawing this guy that's in my class that has like, seriously, a serial killer stare. He plays WoW. I didn't get his face right, but good thing I didn't because then surely the image would've COME ALIVE AND KILLED ME. I swear I'm gonna be schizophrenic when I get older.

Uh I just drew an imaginary still life of a thing I made out of playdo at the Multi-Cultural Center, which legitimately think they should rename it as The League of Social Justice. lol

I didn't know what to draw.

I don't know.

I also don't know. She came out a lot creepier than I had intended. I still can't draw bodies.

Did a copy of contemporary artist Ata Bozaci, aka Toast, for class. I really love the fluidity of his sketches. However, I still don't get how he does it. 

TIME FOR CLASS NOTES

The image of Ash vs. Judge Koffing is pretty much the best thing I've ever drawn. 

YEAH

I don't know what this girl looked like, but she sat behind me and quietly berated another girl for asking a question in class, so I silently berated her through my notes. 

I was thinking of exoticism. 

... And thank goodness for Blogspot automatic draft saving. Stupid internet.

Also, 

Seriously, Media.

(Photo from Victoria's Secret Email Ad: I subscribe to these because 1. I like to know when they have "sales" because their scents are fucking delicious and 2. because their photoshoppers are absolutely ridiculous. In a bad way.)

When did ribs become more of an asset than abs?

I have nothing against naturally skinny people, but this is seriously abnormal. Just like the photoshopping of every other celebrity and model in mainstream media, I don't understand why we can't just leave them be. Yeah, maybe change the hue/saturation and contrast a bit so that the photo as an art piece looks cohesive and pleasant.

But why must we insist on erasing fat, wrinkles, and everything NATURAL about people? Why is there an absence of rebellion in this mainstream marketing firms? Aren't they looking for something DIFFERENT?

Well, we've been warping the appearances of people for about a century if not more now, so I think it's about time we stop doing this faux naturelle shit and get real.


I'm gonna make some real fuckin crude and real drawings/paintings in my art career.

Our Blood is Run by Hate

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NutFkykjmbM

I just don't get it sometimes.



In other news, hella busy, but I am enjoying life.

Oh.

Just realized that pretty much all the people images I see in patterns are white people.

This started out as one of them and then I made that realization lol HARSH YELLOW WIN? HARSHELLOW. MARSHMALLOW.

A hand, a foot, and a head

Not too bad for procrastinating until the night before. Couldn't figure out how to paint my foot. Eek. Hair is really flat now that I look at it. Uh. And didn't really know how to create an environment... thought about one of Jason Sho Green's blogs and his learning about using doors or something for environments??

Also, colors aren't exactly accurate [Camera and bad lighting]. I used orange/white and purple lol

Things that I am afraid of

A list that reminds me I am human, even though I don't really need more reminders. 

• Losing my parents to death or to alzheimers 
• Spiders
• Losing the use of my hands
• Losing my vision
• Vaginas
• Penises
• The intersection of vaginas and penises and/or other things
• Being stuck in loneliness
• Being homeless
• Losing my memory
• Not dying in a terrible accident
• The destruction of my stuffed animal, who I creatively named Bunny [it is a bunny. lol.]
• Evil supernatural things
• The dark
• The stretchmarks on my butt and hips

Childhood Struggles Storybook Project: Imagery Collage Example

Click to enlarge, as always. These are mostly examples, but they were kind of therapeutic. I'm not really into collaging, but I didn't want to do super artsy stuff that might intimidate people [and I'm not trying to be cocky, but I have found that it doesn't take very much to creatively intimidate people].

This is the image representing my struggle. More of an exploration on the idolization of white people for really... no good reason. This idolization has taken up most of my past 21 years, covering my pride for being Chinese-Canadian. Even when I was really into Anime and Japanese culture... there's still a whole lot of idolization of white people in Japanese culture, as well... as noted with the unnaturally large eyes, and lot of the blond-haired characters, among other nuances.

Oh, it cut off a little at the bottom [it says FIGHT on the bottom right]. This represents what empowers me. A whole lot more simple. What empowers me? Being. Being with friends. Dinosaurs. Robots that can love [because I always portray myself as apathetic, but I am an uber closet romantic]. Taco Bell [which humorously relates to my serious coming to terms and appreciating being Chinese]. Cute animals. Food. Bacon. Foooooddddd. More fooodddd. More cute animals. Animals with inappropriate names. Cartoons. Silly tattoos. Science magazines. Comic books. The APAHE conference! Oh. I totally didn't put the MCC on there. D8 The MCC IS the exploration lol

In other news, I made some okay curry today, but I undercooked the rice. WAH WAHHHHHHH

Sketchbook Update

Lots, but still lacking in quantity and whatever quality means

Randomly bought Ata/Toast's art collection book for like $15 at a half off bookstore in Berzerkley. TOTALLY AWESOME FIND. His work is really intricate and novel [he was one of the forerunners of the more 3D style typography graffiti movement]. And his real people sketches are fluid and human. Love ittttt. Not a big fan of his vector work, but I'll admit that it is INSANELY INTRICATE. I'm just not big on vectors in general.

Was inspired to do weird abstract things. The above reminds me of... some painter... but I am really bad at remembering names of painters. I am totally going to fail art history whenever I decide to take it.

I was experimenting, but this 3D type graffiti stuff is really difficult! I was gonna write Hellxia, but then my professor was talking about Edgar Heap of Birds [who gave an eye-opening lecture about his art, and he had two great shows in town], so I started writing Heap at first... lol

More experimentation inspired by Toast.

Quick studies of my own hand. My new schtick is to make still lifes AS FAST AS POSSIBLE because I hate still lifes, but I desperately need the practice... but I also need to start SEEING the still lifes that I'm drawing. What's the point of making a photo-realistic copy if I don't even learn anything from it because I'm so focused on abstract details? 

Copying Toast's hand studies. Iono how he makes it so natural.

Was reading some of Chad Sweeney's Parables of Hide and Seek. I won't analyze poems unless guided by an instructor, but I really like the imagery I get from his words.

I wish I could draw the things I visualize. One day.

Oh hey, look, it's that racist kid from elementary school! Thanks for the 16-ish years of hate!

I didn't intend for her to look like she's jerkin her gerkin, which doesn't make sense anyway. Her hands were in her pockets. That's how us lonely people dance. We do it for ourselves. 

One of the images inspired by learning about Asians in the Dream Act at the APAHE conference. I hope to one day make a painting out of it. I think I was thinking about wanting these undocumented students to gather together to rally against injustices against them... but then if they did, then it'd just be easier for the government to incarcerate them and send them back to cultures in which they no longer feel belonging. ALLIES MUST FIGHT! Somehow.

He was gross anyway, good riddance, boy-I-never-got-to-know!

Composition sketches for a Life Painting hw assignment. Supposed to paint 1. a hand, a foot, and a face 2. two hands and a foot or 3. two feet and a hand. And have some kind of environment. I guess.

haha I'm a pervert lol 

I'm compulsive when it comes to the skin on my fingertips.

Trina and I! Walking to the art lab. We are friends and mentors and students of life!

I'm not really sure why I started drawing this, but it started as legs, and then a face, and uh, well I guess that's all there really is. I guess I could say that it's about the exoticism of "Asian" women in American society, and the exoticism of "White" people by a bunch of Asian cultures. It's weird and stupid. 

Weird and stupid like this HYPERVENTILATING UNICORN and koffing. My band members rejected Lin's idea for a band name. I am sad. So very sad.

Sad like these eyes that are crying. Made this and the below image for a fellow intern's Queer People of Color: Liberation Through Journaling program.

I'm so hipster, I know, right?