BIRTH OF A ROLE MODEL

All ink on 11x15 watercolor paper. Maybe like... 7 hours??? D8 D8 D8 hella days

Alternate title:

• Mommy, I can haz Barbie?

I messed up the arm of the mom on the left... but... ahhhh what am I gonna do. I might try to revisit this one day.

IN OTHER NEWS:

Hey look I wrote a poem about being Chinese what

I was born in Canada, raised in Californ-i-a.
I took pride in being Chinadian,
although after my fifth birthday I was MIA.
I hated America because it hated me.
But I loved America out of hypocrisy.

I used to say Chinese like it was some kind of
disease.
Chinese used to mean
high expectations, exotic objects, weird smells and
bad driving.

Then one semester, thanks to
the Multi-Cultural Center
I thought, why do I hate who I am?
So now I'm learning:
to stop society from oppressing me.
To stop blaming my mom for oppressing me.
And to stop letting myself oppress myself.

So I'm learning and
I'm learning.
Now being Chinese,
always being Chinese,
means my mom wants me to try my best.
It means the food tastes like home, sweet, home, I confess.
It means yes, I am learning a different way
to love my parents and
myself.
I am now as proud to be Chinese
as I am to be
all the me's.

A CLEAR ROOM = A CLEAR MIND

And I do not have a clear room. SIGH. This was from last week. My room still looks the same, if not worse.


At any rate, changed the layout a tiny bit.

WIP barbie birth

I'm more interested in WIP's than anything else, so here is one. about like two and a half hours already D8 D8 D8 i work slow lol and iono how to use inks. Hoping this will turn out good!!! Eventually I will learn how to do lights properly...

It's fairly straightforward, but I guess you could go a couple ways with it. Birth of Barbie. The main surgeon dude or whatever is a man and the nurse is a woman and she is far away and real or unreal and I'm not sure who the mom is [maybe she is a child, although I have to say that I intended her to be bigger. Perspective. OOPS. But who the mom is doesn't matter at this point. Once you exit through those doors, you're stuck in TVLand.

In music news, more and more I am losing taste for nerdcore. Just a fad. It's got mostly the same values as any other rap, with less of a catchy beat. Also, more and more I find my true calling in electronic music with heavy bass beats even though I don't have a subwoofer or anything. Dubstep WAWWAAHAHWAAAAAHWAWAWAWAWAaaaa Trashy electronica

Assignment that was due like a hundred years ago

I was thinking about Jean Kilbourne's speech about body image, and then I was thinking about an image of thin body juxtaposed with a burger, and then I thought about a skull and mcdonalds burgers, and then this happened.

The assignment was to create a grid of drawings in charcoal. I didn't use nice paper for this because I haven't had a chance to go to Utrecht, but this is one of my better ones anyway. Fuck nice paper, it's so expensive 8[


My thoughts:

I wanted a realistic skull and a realistic Ronald McDonald [reference here] juxtaposed with a crude, cartoon-y burger.

We idolize BURGERS as some sort of luscious and even sexy god. It's really weird. We give fast food fat names, voices, personalities, sex appeal, and more. Yet we don't see it as a real problem sometimes.

Ronald McDonald is sort of the human entity of The Burger, and he is real, yet he's not. He's just some painted white-face dude with wrinkles and a limited career.

And skulls are real, but the one I used as a reference is actually a wax candle that my aunt gave to me. The drawing in itself is a sort of an embodiment of the real thing. The drawing is of a real thing, and is a real thing. And now it has what I intended to be a tongue, I'm not sure if that's translating correctly. I was thinking of the exoticism of The Burger. Nowadays, advertisers aren't even subtle about it.


That's super disjointed, but I'm still processing it. Hope I don't smudge it before critique BUHHHHHH

Lamp Burn

FFFFFFF I seem to always forget that my lamp is hot after turning it off. Brush and burn.

I drew this before my business law midterm. I thought it was funny... ಠ_ಠ

Was trying to figure out an ink drawing that I was supposed to start like a week ago. Was gonna do it today, but Utrecht closed early FFFFFFFFFF no paper

This took me a little more than an hour wtffff I am getting really slow. But I like how it turned out. Used photograph from : http://www.milesaldridge.com/ He does some interesting photography. Like a darker fashion photographer. I was just practicing, and then I thought about how my professor told me to practice masters and technical stuff, and then maybe add stuff that is more cartoony or not technical.

Unrelated: Shaun Tan is still AWESOME. Check out his art and stuff here: http://www.shauntan.net/ and also check out his oscar-winning short film [based on one of his books], The Lost Thing.

I don't do things the right way

Well... I liked it. That's the stuffed animal I've kept since I was a wee baby. I named her Bunny. Creative, right?

Anyway, I'm still trying to figure out colors. I couldn't get the red to look the right kind of bright, and I couldn't get the background to look right. Had super problems with bright colors and fucking GREEN in class today. And Bunny's leg is like super giant lol

My ultimate weakness is nature painting. Ughhhhhhh

Thank you, Angry Asian Man for sharing Sex Ray Vision!

 CHECK OUT SEX RAY VISION HERE: http://dfgh.org/

AWESOME electro hip hop pop and remixes. Nerds from Stanford yay!!!!!

And if you haven't already, check out my friend's music: http://robotscience.bandcamp.com/album/good-luck [this is his most recent album, and my favorite so far!]

Represent!!!

Other than that, been totally miserable painting nature. ಠ_ಠ

Crazy busy this week, but for now... the waters have calmed...

COLOR IN MY LIFE??

Went to a Drag Show at my friend's school and saw an attractive boy in drag, who looked good in drag, and was also straight and single???? Too much perfect, avoid situation. lol 

Anyway, what my professor said about finding a style or type of stroke that says WHO I AM as an artist in my art... I've been trying to find things. It is a difficult journey 8***C 

Mostly been inspired by graffiti. Simple colors. Finally took out the massive pack of Sharpies that I have. Forgot that they existed in one of my drawers. 

Hellxia signature what.

Gonna try and start to write down a daily log briefly summarizing things that I do every day. Bought a new tiny sketchbook for it.

lol No seriously, I just created Avatar: The Last Airbender: Appa graffiti fanart. Because my friend had this piece of soap stone or whatever and she is trying to whittle it into a turtle, but THE OBVIOUS CORRECT PLAN OF ACTION would be to make it look like Appa, since it already looks like it anyway. And so I drew this.

Uh.

Sketchbook stuff

Kind of really disappointed with my drawings this semester 8[ 

Prof said that I need to find a drawing style that is not generic and that is who I am. TRUE. And also... omgggg how do I do thissss I've been trying for a while, but maybe my style is just generic D8 I don't know how to vary my lines. MUST CONCENTRATE HARDER.

Tongue-tied... right? RIGHT? 

SO GOOD. And I never liked blueberries before this past month. Whaaattt.

The library.

ECNEICS. Exploratorium FOR THE WIN. Giant groups of children hogging all the coolest exhibits FOR THE LOSS.

I always look really angry when I am drawing self-portraits I MUST LOOK ANGRY ALL THE TIME OH NOES

I was watching something that had video of moving clouds. Probably art 21?? My pattern is really stagnant 8[

I like the bunches of little men people. Thinking of covering pages with them.

I draw things I hate drawing really badly 8[

Idea for a drawing I suppose. Maybe a painting. I find myself wanting to paint more than draw, but I never really get around to painting 8****C


Yesterday was my worst day painting so far!!! Fucking ALLERGIES. GOD. I HATE NATURE SO MUCH BECAUSE OF ALLERGIES. SO DISAPPOINTING TO MISS OUT ON NATURE. And then I angrily stormed off right after class because I had to go to work and because allergies were killliinnggg me. 8[

On the flip side, I bought a new water bottle and it is really awesome and I am so stoked to have it. Wrote some more silly songs yesterday.