Had an amazing time in Ashland for the Oregon Shakespeare Festival! So many ridiculous adventures. But of course, no such documentation. I forgot to bring my camera outside where we stayed. hahahahaha
So here is some other random stuff that has to do with candle wax.
Yeah, you bet I'm a damn hipster. Playing with wax drippings. It is difficult to get them the shape you want them to be. Looks cool regardless. And smells good.
I got a bunch of free business cards and postcards [free = shipping], so I'm gonna decorate them at some point. I was disappointed to see that the postcards were printed with gloss paper though... so we shall see what I can do with that, since ink doesn't adhere to or absorb into it very well.
Uh. I just thought the burn marks on the wax looked like tiny letters. It was weird. LIKE A FOREIGN LANGUAGE. ALIEN EVEN.
Oh, and here's the ads I've made so far for stuff I'm in charge of at the Multi-Cultural Center!!!!
I'm having a lot of trouble with the Barbie doll bodies because I don't have very good reference material and I keep forgetting to buy a doll from a thrift store ffffffffff
This one is the second out of five panels. Not really done yet, but I don't have time to finish it. I don't even know why I'm updating this, I'm tired and my neighbor is playing loud spooky music and laughing like the Joker. OH NEIGHBOR, if you weren't so entertaining sometimes, I'd wish you were dead because on many days, I don't have any sense of morals.
Head references (Elvgren is my favorite classic pinup artist so far... I'm not sure who did the second pinup):
We have five panels to do for the next five weeks, one per week, relating to our 5x4ft piece. It is still really difficult to draw boobies, plastic or not!
Some tiny 4x5in quick painting sketches, relating to our large piece.
And... I just drew this to get free pre-screening tickets to see Tangled. lol CHIBI RAPUNZEL. Sigh.
Why do we make jokes to make people feel stupid? Even little jokes to our friends, trolling, whatever. Why is it funny?
Anyway, here are some things from my tiny sketchbook.
Mostly filler since we have to do one drawing a day.
Some quick sketches at the bike kitchen. I lost my pen under a drawer! 8C
Yesterday, I took apart an entire bike! I'm still super stoked.
Tinier sketch blown up. Iono.
I just really like how these two colors go together. Originally I wasn't going to draw a mouth on her... and then I forgot.
TRUE STORY BRO. Don't use gesso around stuff you wear everyday, unless you like to wear gesso everyday. lol
We had to draw trees for an HOUR. Ughhhhhhhhh I got bored, so I drew what the trees looked like to me in the background.
Bottom left foreground looked like an atomic bomb.
Bottom left background looked like flames.
Bottom right foreground looked like shrapnel.
Overall, it looked like the [buddha] palm tree was peaceful above all this chaos.
Uh. I don't know, this is something that popped into my head a previous day.
Shadow of my water bottle traced, and then made into a platypus. I keep wanting to say reflection instead of shadow, but really... is a shadow not just a reflection upon a seemingly non-reflecting surface... or something. I don't know.
Yay finally a serious song. Details on youtube page.
But I'll also include the fact that I am straight and a gay ally, and I do not support bullying of any kind.
Here are some misc truths that I'd just like to release, mostly for my own sake, since I can't organize things in my head and I hardly ever write in a private journal anymore. They're not really secret because I'm not really a... secretive person lol at least among friends.
1. I have contemplated my placement on many spectrums of things. Specifically, I have contemplated being lesbian or bisexual or whatever, but have concluded that I lean pretty far towards straight. I say spectrums because for most things, I believe there's are many shades of grey [probably mixing some colors here and there as well]. You can call yourself a democrat, but you can't just mass everyone into a single group. Everyone within that group has different views. You can be a democrat and believe in some republican platforms. Whatever. You can be a straight male and still be turned on by guys making out with guys, even if you don't want to partake in such activities.
2. I have found a new love in bok choy and hoisin sauce.
3. One day, I hope to go green/organic, even though I know I will have little impact on the rest of the world.
4. I'm going to continue being selfish in this luxurious world I have grown up in, but I will occasionally try my best to donate or volunteer to causes I deem as good.
5. I spelled selfish, luxurious, and occasionally wrong multiple times before correcting them in that last number. I need to work on spelling.
6. I am trying to find a taste for poetry. Currently reading Faust. It is okay so far.
7. I am afraid of vaginas.
8. I like doing the dishes, but it is always too difficult to bring myself to do them.
9. I project my bad traits onto other people. This is a very recent realization and I am trying to judge people less because of it. It is difficult.
10. I am learning to accept my culture and understand why I am the way I am. I have to fully understand that I'm not smart because I'm biologically Asian, I'm smart because of how I was raised in a strict, totalitarian environment that I think could have been pleasant, but there aren't any perfect ways to raise children. Okay, I guess I also have to explore my relationship with the people who raised my fat, white, 37-year old Irish ass.
11. I've told things to my boss, who I've only known for about a few months, things I've never even told myself and it is so hard, but so liberating.
12. There's nothing wrong with crying. I am learning.
13. Discovering what triggers you to Feel is so powerful for the spirit.
14. I don't even know what the spirit is, but it is-.
15. I hella almost overcooked my rice because I was writing this.
16. I have a lot of things to do today and I had enough time about three hours ago before I met the Internet.
17. Trying to be open-minded is making me close-minded to close-minded people. I'm still not sure what to make of this. I can only have so much hope for humanity.
18. I went to the PostSecret event yesterday and it was AMAZING. I really enjoyed everyone sincerity, honesty, and courage to tell their secrets to a bunch of strangers. And I don't know if I'm supposed to write this or not, but I really appreciated when Frank shared his mum's message for not wanting a free copy of his book. I can sort of relate to that in that while I am lucky that my parents will support me in whatever my endeavors are, I can't expect them to always fully support what I do. I can't expect that from anyone. I can only expect myself to be passionate and support myself in whatever I choose to do, whoever I choose to be.
19. And no, this is the way I write and I will continue writing this way. I will not purposely try to censor myself. I'm not going to stop myself from growing whichever way. I am rude and I will speak my truths.
Yeah, it is sort of cliche to still be talking about stereotypes and sexism, but there is such a WEALTH of subjects to be explored!
For my int. painting class, we're doing a 5x4ft painting. I'm going to propose creating images of pin-up girl faces [I like the classic ones done by Elvgren and some others] on Barbie doll bodies, focusing on their relationships to objectifying women [pin up girls] and creating a dismal role model that is physically unachievable, mentally stereotyped, and racially stereotyped [Barbie: the great white female].
The effect of my internship at the Multi-Cultural Center has been amazing, to put it lightly. I've been doing a lot of thinking about social justice and how I can incorporate meaningful messages in my paintings, as opposed to the usual meaningless pop shit.
Sorry for the photo quality. Built-in webcams, you know.
Here are four potential concepts.
"My role model is..." on the chalkboard in the background. All of the young, female students look up to pin up Barbie. They seek to look just like her when they grow older, even if physically impossible. Maybe they can pose seductively in magazines made for men, too.
White female Barbie PREVAILS. I think I was going to put a pile of multi-racial heads in the background, but forgot.
That is an Asian baby's face on a sexually posed Barbie body. She may not be mentally mature, but Barbie guarantees her that one day she will be sexually mature.
That is supposed to be an Asian girl looking questioningly at a Barbie.
We will HUG in the shade. PG 300, anyone? Anyway, this is a copy of the following master drawing:
He turned out a lot fatter than anyone would have intended.
And then here's some stuff from my tiny sketchbook.
I'm still hooked on anti-smoking messages and marshmallows. A good combo, right? Artistically stole/learned that background pattern from Jason Sho Green. Didn't realize until now that the character looks a lot like the characters my professor draws [Evri Kwong].
Inside the art studio lab. Buh. Waiting for gesso alternative to dry.
Seriously though, drawing les arbres is a major drag. I take art classes because I would never do these things otherwise.
I am really tired of cross hatching. Also, the delicious nectarines I bought from Costco now give me a mad tummy ache. BUMMER.
Anyway, I am up right now because I procrastinated finishing that master drawing copy until 10 because I spent like 2 or 3 hours making a song from a sad and shitty poem I wrote but never turned in for class. Because it's shitty. They make good songs at least. Finally a serious song.
Sara [aka DJ Vogue on kssu.com, Fridays @ 8pm] brought up the fact that people ought not be worrying so much about fucking up and suffering the torment of hell... as much as they ought to simply LIVE LIFE. Enjoy life.
If death, fucking up, and all that jive are inevitable, why are we worrying about it so much?
So why not appreciate our existence and the fact that we are living and breathing right now. Maybe it's the worst point of our lives, but hey, it can only get better, right? Or I guess it could plateau down there, but I think you just have to look at the positive side. That radiating positivity that we've UNLEARNED how to appreciate. I don't know exactly why I or anyone else would be mostly negative. Why be a downer at our own party? Why is being happy so obnoxious?
I would hope that everyone will one day know the folly of being driven to hate by envy and perchance reassess and start... enjoying the time we've got together. I don't mean to sound sentimental or preachy, but... that's what I am learning. And the learning is so so so good.
Also, sorry for all the rants, I'll update with some artsy shit soon. 8]
I used to say that the only time I was offended was when someone else was offended, but now I am trying to grasp different thinking. Why should I decry someone for being offended, for being sensitive, for having an emotional reaction? If anything, I should praise them for feeling so offended, and I should encourage them to speak up and tell me why so that I may understand where they are coming from.
I don't like to cry in front of people. I think it's because of a sensitivity complex I have, where I don't like to reveal that yes, I may very well be sensitive to something [but I also think crying puts me in a physically ugly state, regardless of emotional beauty]. I shouldn't need to apologize for having feelings.
And no, I have feelings because I'm a human being, not because it's a feminine thing to do. I will say I'm sorry that you may have some sort of macho complex or homophobia [specifically, fear of being seen as stereotypically gay/feminine, which I guess is also part of a macho complex].
I can only hope that one day you, too, will realize that you are human.
Iono bros, I thought this assignment was the most confusing and it could've been a lot easier to understand if my professor had just stated it in layman terms. SIGH. But no, we have to "understand" it.... by not understanding it. guhhhhh. Charcoal and oil on masonite board OH SHIT I literally just realized that I was supposed to do a different background color other than white GODDAMMIT.
In other news, we're making our own canvases. HARDCORE. Except not because I can't do anything with the actual power tools very well at all! Good for today, in which we split up tasks to make SO MANY 11x14in [i think] wood panel canvases. Bad for making the 5x4ft canvas on my own. SIGH. And that photo makes it look so clean, but DEAR LORD I was covered in sawdust for the whole damn day.
I feel like a lot of current younger artists do all this vulgar work. Some of it is witty, most of it evokes a disturbing sort of sickening feeling. Maybe they do it to push the boundaries, and they all seem to think it's new, but it's not.
Penises, vaginas, and butt holes have been around for "HELLA DAYS." Butt plugs may be a little more recent.
But eventually, we all have to do something more than this expression of reaching beyond boundaries. We have to do something more with penises and vaginas and the like. I say FUCK EM in the sense that once we've exploited them enough, hopefully by that point we'll have learned something from the whole experience as an exploiter, as this sardonic, smartass, blithering moron who thinks he's a real punk and hates society.
